The Pure Hair Movement Failed Me
When I used to be in middle college, a boy I had a crush on mentioned that I used to be cute, however that he didn’t date women with “my kind of hair.” I was not sure what was fallacious with “my kind of hair,” however presumably he meant the short form. Although I by no means really understood what he meant, that comment really stuck with me, because I’ve hated my hair for so long as I can remember. I’ve all the time wished it had been simply slightly bit longer. A tad bit fuller. And much, much thicker.
Although I used to be late to the natural hair motion, after i found it in 2013, I thought I had found the golden grail. After reading numerous hair blogs and watching hundreds of YouTube videos, I concluded that sulfates, chemical relaxers, and heat have been the cause of my short, damaged, and thin hair. All I wanted to do was co-wash my tresses, use protective styles, and take some hair vitamins, and that i too might have thick curly hair. All of my hair issues can be solved.
And so my natural hair journey began, however for fairly the mistaken reasons. I stopped getting relaxers, and inside months my hair started shedding like crazy. Based on my in depth online analysis, the place the place your pure hair meets your relaxed hair is known as the “level of demarcation” and it is very fragile. Intense deep conditioning is inspired, but some women just experience more shedding than others. I used to be a kind of ladies that skilled intense shedding. So after a month of my hair falling out in handfuls, a new beautician pushed me to cut my hair. Recognizing my anxiety, she tried to leave a few of my relaxed hair at the top, so I did not feel quite as dangerous.
After just a few weeks of looking a bit crazy, one my besties sat me down with some scissors, and mentioned, “Sweetie, that hair at the top has to go. Trust me, it’ll look better.” Filled with fear, I lastly gave in, and let her cut the final little bit of relaxed hair off the top of my head. I felt a mixture of emotions. I was relieved but nervous. Over the next few days, she taught me easy methods to finger coil my new teeny weeny afro (TWA), confirmed me her favourite merchandise, and introduced me to edge control. I used to be decided to do that right. So I modified my diet, starting working out, drinking water, slicing chemicals out of my weight loss program and my beauty products, all to add in my hair development (and physique objectives). Wholesome hair comes from healthy habits, I stored reading. If you adored this post and you would such as to receive additional info concerning loose kindly check out the webpage. So being the over-achiever I am, I adopted all the wholesome habits I might.
Anytime I got depressed about my nice long hairstyle lower than an inch of hair, I might simply google pure hair styles, and day dream of how my hair would look in a year or two. Based on all the hair blogs, you would depend on about ½ inch of hair progress each month. So I anticipated to have a head full of bouncy moisturized curls within a 12 months. And i just knew that within 2 years, I can be slaying my IG with the entire natural woman hair kinds. All of my friends had lengthy luscious hair after so effortlessly going pure, so I knew it was possible. I instructed myself that if I may simply put up with my TWA for a year or so, I might have a lifetime of healthy curly hair.
However after a year, one thing terrible occurred. My hair was growing so sluggish. I used to be positively not getting ½ inch per thirty days. My hair was not getting thicker and my curls weren’t popping like the women in the blogs. I tried two strand twists, braid outs, and wash-and-gos and they all looked a scorching mess. I felt like the pure hair movement had failed me. My hair did not have the curl all of the naturals had on my IG feed. I used to be furious. I had completed the whole lot proper. I had not put heat on my hair in over a 12 months. I easily spent 1000’s of dollars on all of the latest hair care merchandise. I used to be certainly a hair product junkie. And I used to be eating clean. I misplaced 30 pounds! But my hair My God, my hair, simply would not act right.
I hit a low level when I discovered myself single after my husband and i separated. Having brief hair and a husband was one factor. But having brief hair and being single was one thing solely totally different. I am sure that some guys favor quick hair, however my experience has always been that guys favor longer hair–they could not care if hair is straight or curly, but they secretly need ladies to have hair, a number of it, and ideally not the sort you will have to purchase. My hair an space of actual insecurity.
Dealing with all of this anxiety and self-doubt, I met a really blunt, borderline-rude govt kind, and after a number of drinks, he checked out me and stated, “I don’t usually like women with pure hair. You’ll look so much prettier with a weave.” I wish I could say I cursed him out or that threw my drink on him or that I gave him a lecture on black beauty and respectability politics. However I did neither. I shrunk in my seat, laughed it off, and stated, “Oh yeah, I was thinking about getting a weave.”
A couple of weeks later, I was driving an hour away to get my first full weave. Although I did not wish to make choices about my hair based mostly on what I thought would appeal to a man, I still heard the voice of that center school boy in my head. I justified my actions by telling myself that I used to be getting a protecting style that may help my natural hair develop so that after a number of months, my huge lovely curls would be hiding underneath. But a couple of months turned into an over a yr, and i still had nothing to indicate for the thousands of dollars I spent on the perfect weaves, closures, and wigs that money could buy.
More importantly, after a few installs I realized I did not even like weaves, as a result of I really didn’t need bone straight Eurocentric hair. I needed curly, kinky, textured hair and that i wished to be able to work out with out worrying about wanting loopy. That’s when i found crochet braids, and I have been addicted ever since. They are healthier for my hair, I can nonetheless workout, and they are cheaper than a weave and faster to install.
The one drawback is that they do not help me deal with the emotional and psychological baggage I’ve with my God-given hair. I nonetheless have not accepted who I really am, because I still hated the stuff that grew out of my head. I have realized that I have wonderful hair that can simply never be thick and full. It won’t ever look like the girls on IG. Yes, it will grow, but it’ll all the time be skinny. My TWA just isn’t a phase. It is my chosen hairstyle. My hair is short, and I’m still stunning. And I’m learning to love the texture, size, and type of hair that grows out of my head. And that i can solely hope that the pure hair movement shall be less about reaching another person’s look or length, and more about accepting ourselves as we’re. Naturally beautifully.