The long term Effects Of Loss After Grieving
Grieving is a process that starts at different points for different people after encountering a tragedy. Some start immediately while others lay dormant in shock until the truth of the situation hits home. Either way there’s a big a part of grieving that is unexpected and unexplained. It’s the bits that you must deal with long after the tragedy has taken place. The mental and emotional damage, the suppressed fears, distortions of the mind, all of these things are the post traumatic effects of loss.
I’d like to put in writing this article to advertise the awareness of the after-after effects of loss resulting from death of a loved one. These are the long run effects that subside deep within the sub consciousness and psyche of the mind. It’s common amongst friends and other people to hold the view that a tragedy is something that happens, you process and eventually adapt to and ‘get over’. While this is the hair extensions good quality overall path an aggrieved person takes it doesn’t necessarily mean that after a year or so that person has mended completely and the occurrence no longer has any substantial effect. It is also common for those grieving to believe that is the right path as they too are unaware of the post traumatic effects it has. It’s normal in this example for the grieved person to feel emotions of guilt for not of getting healed. You start to ask yourself questions such as ‘why am I not over this ”, “am I not strong enough to get over it”, “how come I still feel sad”, “why can’t I move on”, “everyone is sick of hearing about it”, “I should be a nasty person if I can’t let this go”. The actual fact of the matter is that when you’ve lost someone near and dear you never ‘get over’ the event. Death and tragedy is not a matter of being torn and repaired but more a matter of learning to include the experience of the event into who you might be. You at the moment are someone who has experienced a tragedy. The loss of loosing that special person is an adaptation, not a recovery. You aren’t ‘broken’ but ‘changed’. It is therefore important to permit people the lee way to search out room of their character and personality to incorporate this modification.
One significant change that can occur is a sense of heightened sensitivity to the fragility and insecurity of love and life. People who have suffered loss may feel more compassion for human kind, life just isn’t so concrete. You may become more aware of peoples feelings and feel angry when persons are insensitive to each other. Anger is an emotion embedded in loss that dwells long after the event has subsided. It is set off easily and infrequently expresses itself in unexpected ways. It is common to feel angry on the world; as if it has stolen unfairly from you and that it’s evil and cruel. Loss provokes questions corresponding to ‘why me ’, ‘why them ” and feelings of “it’s not fair!” and “how could you!”. The griever has to learn where to place these feelings and find out how to deal with them. On top of this it is also common to feel mad on the person whom you’ve gotten lost, mad at yourself for feeling mad and mad on the world for letting such a horrible thing occur.
A variety of this anger is hard to precise and may often result in suppression and depression. I believe it is necessary for those who have grieved to go easy on themselves and much more important for those around them to offer their full support. This isn’t always easy as depressed individuals are usually unwilling to share, making communicate difficult. It is not uncommon to feel as if the topic is taboo and that no one wants to hear your story, that it’s a burden to the listener and unfair to unload an extreme amount of negative emotions onto the shoulders of a friend. Therefore lots of people chose to retract emotionally, allowing unresolved thoughts and feelings to be pushed to the side, or to the underside of the pile. This will result in a pattern of suppression as every time those feelings resurface with a view to be processed, the mind pushes them back down labelling them ‘bad’ thoughts. That is an incredibly unhealthy cycle as it’s the job of the sub conscious to ensure these negative energies are released just like the way in which the liver cleans your body of toxins. Unresolved negative emotions create a build up of negative patterns within the brain together with constant chemical releases that create hormones of anger, guilt, fear, anxiety and stress. These are the long run negative effects I talk of. Unless dealt with properly, these unintended effects could go on for years preventing the person from experiencing healthy relationships and shutting them off to feelings of love, warmth and support. Often loosing someone puts extreme pressure on all coping mechanisms of the body in this way.
All of us will all at sometimes in our life experience loss. Death is apart of life as life is apart of us. It is important to recollect that there’s no one method to go about grieving, that everyone does it differently. Bear in mind that a one that has suffered loss is forever changed and that it is just as hard to grasp them as it’s for them to know themselves. It’s normal to feel afraid, insecure and scared for many years after the event. That some people will always fear losing the ones they love and may feel resilient to let love in again. So please be patient with those who have lost. Pain of loss is a healing process and a process that’s delicate, long run and forever proposing new learning’s. There is no manual to coping with loss and it’s something that may continually pop up as the grieved learn to bind their old relationships and lives with the brand new person they have learnt to become.
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